Still Crashing That Castle

Posted on July 14, 2009. Filed under: Game | Tags: , , , , , |

So… this one game a week thing… No idea how that’s going to work out since I don’t have the patience and endurance of a gamer. 2 hours of gaming at a time is a stretch for me and I’m prone to headaches. Bah. I like gaming, but my body doesn’t. Double bah.

What I originally thought, was to play (and finish!) one game every week. A lofty ambition, I know, but I’m without a job right now, so it could be possible. I had hoped Castle Crashers would be a perfect first game to get me warmed into it. OMFG that’s a lot of game! I’ve played through all the parts that I have either all ready played, or that I watched Mario play, but there’s still A LOT of game left.

So maybe 1 game every 2 weeks with periodic updates? Once I get a job (who knows if part-time or full-time), I’ll have less time to game and will need to fight Mario for the controller, but he will win of course since he IS a gamer.

So my thoughts on Castle Crashers so far?? Okies. It’s a cute game, the music’s awesome, the animation’s distinctive, the game controls are okay, and the Y button is my favorite button. I hate using the ‘magic’ because I find if I use my bumpers, I get hit by my opponents, so might as well just continue to pummel them with that treasured Y button.

Where have I ended up? I got as far as the Lava World and beat it on the first section of the map. I now have all 3 items to allow me passage on the ship, ended up in a desert with large hairy worms that spit green poison, and then I got abducted by alien hominids. Just another day in paradise…

I also went to that abandoned factory to save the clown princess and I beat that short, puffy, purple douche, but I was tired and quit the game after that, losing ALL my progress. So I will have to start all over again. See, I don’t have that gamer patience to just go until I have a save spot. If I’m done, I’m done. Save be damned. That’s the BIGGEST flaw of the game. It takes so freaking long to get to a damn save spot, so I would have to sacrifice my sanity just to get to a damn save spot on the more elaborate and timely levels such as the abandoned factory. To the seasoned gamer, that’s nothing, but to a novice of modern gaming, it’s moving heaven and earth and the angels don’t like it.

My (mis)adventures in gaming consisted of getting MAD wrist pain the morning after my first gaming session. Ow. Ow. Ow. Sharp stabbing pains came every few minutes. My wrist was in freaking labor! So I took a break that day. I could only imagine how my poor wrist would have felt after playing with the OLD Xbox monstrosity of a gamepad! I much prefer the Playstation gamepad. It’s simple, smaller, and sleeker. The Xbox 360 gamepad is still too bulky and fussy. Meh.

Yes. Yes, I DO yell at the tv while playing a boss that just keeps killing me. Every boss requires me to die several times before I get to return the favor just once. Like that damn Bat boss. The mini bat minions would just nibble me to death, and then I’d get a smokey green poo on me. A couple of attempts, I would defeat the boss, but then one of the minions would nibble me and I’d DIE! So it didn’t COUNT! I would have to do it all over again! Boy did I scream at the tv then.

My favorite moment was: “Wait! There’s a SECOND BOSS?? Then wtf was that guy?? Holy shit this second boss is massive. And it breathes FIRE?? AND there’s hulking boulders hurling themselves at me from the other side?? And he was a sock puppet??”

What is it with bosses and their sock puppets? The cat in the river, the Lava World devil-looking thing that breathes fire?

Anyway, I about shit my pants when I saw that second Lava World boss that I returned to the map to chill out and reorganize. Well, I LOST all my progress in the Lava World level, so I had to start ALL over again. Dammit.

I’m going to take Castle Crashers’ mother out to a nice seafood dinner and then never call her again.

…I’ll keep playing the game, though 😉



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